An Interview with Adedayo Onabade, Author of “A Collection of Convictions (Thirty Life Lessons at 30)”
By Adeola Oke
Adedayo Onabade is a Nigerian essayist, fiction, and poetry writer. She holds a B.A. from Olabisi Onabanjo University and an M.A. from the University of Lagos, both in English Literature. Her works have been shortlisted for SynCity's 'Poetry in Times of Corona' and #TwitterWritingContest.
Adedayo volunteers with STER (Stand to End Rape Initiative), a social justice organization that works to combat sexual and gender-based violence against women, girls, and vulnerable people. Outside writing, she is fascinated by NatGeoWild, art galleries, reading, and documentaries.
THE INTERVIEW BY ADEOLA OKE
Q: You have been writing for different people for years, helping them fulfill their dreams of becoming authors. What led you to decide writing your debut book was the next priority? Also, what was different about the experience of writing for yourself or others?
A: Writing my first book has been a long time coming. It had become quite frequent to have people ask me when I would eventually publish, but I knew I wanted to put out work that I knew to be true and top quality, something that I could proudly identify with by the time it was in the public domain. When the time was right, there was no pressure, just pure clarity, and confidence in the ideas that had situated themselves in my head. A Collection of Convictions came at a pivotal time in my life's journey. I was going through defining growth moments, and while making one of many trips between Lagos and Ibadan in that period, the thought formed in my mind: 'Why not collate the lessons that you have learned so far?' The idea that it would be a book was not even apparent at this time.
But as soon as I arrived at my destination on that trip, I penned down the first 27 lessons within the first hour. I scribbled the titles and the core elements of each lesson. By then, it was apparent that this was more than my usual journaling, and it was time to publish. Beyond the regular rigours that come with writing a book—you know, bridging the gap between thought and language, ensuring the errors and typos are struck out and all that, I am grateful that A Collection of Convictions came to me almost fully formed but more so that it met me ready.
The experience of writing for myself was no less different in terms of delivering excellent results. Like always, I poured myself into the work, but this time, there was a vivid sense of ownership that this was mine and would carry my name, unlike client-owned projects.
Q: Many writers can relate to the intersectionality of their writing career with other interests, be they medicine, photography, or even cooking. You run two businesses, The Aphorist Creative Enterprise and Versed Apparel. What other things do you do outside writing, and in what ways has writing been intersectional or distinct for you?
A: Writing is not just a gift or talent for me. It is the skill with which I work. So, while I write creatively, I also use it in a corporate capacity. More so, writing helps me market my businesses, one of which offers writing consulting services. I am largely introverted, so I often find myself amused at this irony of divine proportions. While I write and create value as a communications professional, I am not so much given to speech or direct interface with people. It is why I invest in the ideation and creative back end of projects rather than being at the forefront. The best of me, my work, and my thoughts are often found in my writing. Yet, very often, this same writing can become a chore, especially when there's a lot of pressure, deadlines, burnout, or emotional toll. But because writing is really at the core of my personality and how I engage the world around me, I somehow always find the way back to it and don’t take that for granted.
Q: In a world and time where multiple perspectives, institutions, and influences are competing for our convictions, and considering the impact of the internet and social media, who or what has been the top compass to your convictions and how?
A: Faith, family, and friendships are the most telling influences in my life, and they form a huge part of the reasons behind my choices, conduct, and convictions. Many times, they may interplay, and I find this helps me to reflect and, where necessary, reconsider my perspectives. So, regardless of how long I have held an opinion or how widely acceptable it seems, I am always weighing my values against these influences.
Q: Your book covers 30 convictions on several topics, from stewardship to relationships, time management, and more, with great insights through examples, metaphors, and stories. Each section begins with a quote or Bible verse that opens your perspective to the reader. In what practical ways would you recommend a reader use your book?
A: While I wrote A Collection of Convictions as a detailing of the lessons I had picked up over the years, I did not anticipate some of the responses that have come in. I have gotten feedback from readers who state how helpful the book was for them. For some, it was in helping them identify how they felt about certain experiences and the sheer relief that they were not alone or crazy for feeling that particular way; for others, it was that the lessons provided insight into how they could deal with issues better. And I think that this is both one of the most humbling discoveries and greatest privileges of being a writer, that your words can find a home with your readers and resonate with them because the truth you share is unmistakably potent.
I think readers would find the book useful from a perspective of the principles shared therein. While our predicaments may differ, the principles shared in A Collection of Convictions can help us navigate them successfully. Likewise, our anticipated results may not be the same, but we can be sure that whatever resolution we end up at, each person can find harmony and ride their own rhythm by the truths shared in the book.
Q: In chapter two of your book, you mentioned that "humility is not thinking less of oneself but thinking of oneself less." One of the most significant marketing points of several brands and products in our current world is the philosophy of choosing oneself, spending more time with oneself, and being oneself more. How does your book compete with this ideal or accommodate it while maintaining the impact you'd like to have on the reader?
A: Choosing oneself is not bad in itself. As someone said, when you consistently put others before yourself, you teach them to put you second. However, I believe the self-love movement has been impacted by the fallibility of the human condition. So, where self-love was birthed to fend off the excesses of toxic altruism, we now see another excess in motion. My argument in the book was not to dismiss 'self' and agency outright but to say we need a balance, a healthy perspective. Like that adage, 'No man is an island,' if we all choose ourselves long enough at the expense of the next person, then our collective well-being is at stake. In the memoir about her life, the former Director-General of NAFDAC, Professor Dora Akunyili’s outlook is described: 'It was in the best interest of our shared destinies to act in selfless dedication to truth and to one another.' I think this is an inspiring way to live, think beyond oneself, and spare a thought for others.
Q: You emphasized the need to serve others and said if it's in the right context, it will increase one's capacity. Have you experienced situations where your act of stewardship was being exploited? How did you handle it, and how has it impacted your positioning on stewardship?
A: While I have been fortunate not to have this kind of experience firsthand, I have seen it play out in other people’s reality. As a result, I understand that such a situation would require wisdom and courage to objectively assess the situation and determine the right course of action. Depending on the context, the situation may require stepping aside momentarily or moving away outrightly. Whatever the decision, I believe that continuous growth and improvement should be top of mind because it is in the use of your gifts and competencies that you nurture it to its best version.
Q: The publication of your book was alongside the celebration of your 30th birthday. Looking back at your 20s with a foundation of this book, what's one thing you wish you knew or practiced more of earlier? What's the strongest conviction you're taking into the next decade of your life?
A: With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I leveraged the power of community more. There is something powerful about going together, about finding your own tribe and people with whom you can navigate some critical phases of life. Also, I wish I was more audacious in the pursuit of some goals. Many times, we take uncertain steps and make headway. Other times, we make bold moves only to have the door shut in our faces. This can sometimes plant fear and discouragement in our hearts. But this is a mere paradox that should not deter us from trying again.
Looking ahead, I'm taking the silent strength of a teachable spirit into my next decade. To be able to learn anything and grow as much as I permit myself is something I always want to experience.
Q: Chapter 27 of your book titled "Acquire and Nurture Purposeful Mentorships" begins with a very impactful quote by Steven Spielberg, "The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves." You are a two-time Sprinng Writing Fellowship participant in 2020 and 2021. What was the most memorable part of the experience, and 3+ years later, how have you created or reinvented yourself since then? Also, what advice would you give prospective fellows of the program?
A: The Sprinng Writing Fellowship was crucial for me because it helped me see beyond the talent of writing into the technicalities of the craft. What qualities make for good writing? What elements make a story relatable? How does one consolidate simplicity and sophistication? The fellowship taught me how not just to read or write a story but also to see what is said beyond the words that are used. It also provided me with insight into the importance of the exclusive support that programmes like this offer unpublished writers. There is a sense in which publishing your work takes the narrative from you and puts it within the reader's purview, which requires courage in no little measure. Not only did I overcome that while writing A Collection of Convictions, I managed the project as a self-published work.
For our prospective mentees, I would advise a small payment on their part. That the programme is made available free does not mean it is lacking in cost implications. There is a lot that goes into making the programme possible, so by paying the commitment fee of their attention, time, and dedication to the process, participants will be making the most of the opportunity in their hands. More so, as they pay keen attention to the improvements they will see in their work during the fellowship, the confidence and certainty that they are becoming better writers will begin to blossom.
Q: Your book addresses critical questions people have while searching for meaning in life and relationships. How would you answer the question, What's the purpose of life, and why choose it?
A: One of the many quotable quotes that did not make it into the book goes like this: 'Life is a question, the way we live it is the answer.' As I mentioned earlier, having an outlook that goes beyond oneself is a key factor in the kind of life a person lives. How we choose to live our lives points to the things we hold most dearly. The world will change in many ways over the course of our lives, and after our time is done, we will rest from this mortal life. But what will endure is the impact we have made, the solutions we created, the people we influenced. Our investment in people is what will outlive us, and that’s what determines whether or not we have succeeded in the life we were given.
Q: What is one thing writing has led you to start or stop doing, whether for yourself or others? Where do you hope your writing will lead you in the next five years?
A: Writing has helped me to better understand the weight and importance of words. And this, in turn, has built sensitivity in me: to be more gracious with words, to think of the implication of words and how much they can make or mar, to celebrate authentically without flattery, and to critique without losing compassion.
I am currently learning and exploring how to use writing in other genres and art forms, still under the umbrella of storytelling. I hope that the future of my writing will blossom into new experiences and opportunities.
Q: I am currently reading a work of fiction titled Don't Answer When They Call Your Name by Ukamaka Olisakwe. What book are you currently reading?
I'm almost always reading multiple books at a time. My current reads are George Clason's The Richest Man in Babylon and YouWiN! Connect's Successful Nigerian Entrepreneurs: How They Started.
Interviewer’s Biography
Adeola Oke is a creative powerhouse weaving words into stories, poems, and engaging content. As a Communication and Language Arts student at the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, she fuels her passion for language and empowers others through writing. She is a 2020 alumna of the Sprinng Writing Fellowship and has been published in publications like Spur Nation Magazine, Teens with a Difference, Sparkle Writers Hub, and ZenPens. Adeola's voice has resonated with diverse audiences, and as the author of the Live Each Day With A Poem (LEDWAP) Anthology, a 100-poem exploration of love, friendship, and more, her work finds beauty in everyday themes.
Beyond this, Adeola runs a personal faith and lifestyle blog at "Adeolaoke.wordpress.com,” with over 60 published posts. Here, she educates, informs, and entertains, inviting readers to share her journey.
